Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Puno

Sabi ni Mark Strand:

"Wherever I am
I am what is missing."

Ang tesis ko: Tayong Lumalakad Nang Matulin. Koleksyon ng tula. At ang iniisip ko noon: lahi tayo ng mahihilig maglimayon, ibig lagi nating iwan ang nakaraan, ibig nating lumisan, at nasusugatan tayo (tinik sa talampakan) sa proseso.

Ngayon, binigyan ng ibang kulay ni Strand ang mga pagkukumahog na ito.

"I move
to keep things whole."

Baka nga. Kaya laging "ganap na"--naganap: nagiging buo nga lamang ang mga bagay kapag iniwan na natin (lugar, panahon). Kapag wala na tayo roon.

Noong isang gabi, napanood ko ang The Legend of 1900 ni Giuseppe Tornatore. Doon, hindi naman magawang iwan ng bida (si 1900, malamang) ang barkong kinalakihan. Kahit minsan, hindi siya bumaba sa lupa. Kahit sa daungan. Kaya sa huli, walang naganap. Naiwan akong nakatanga sa pagtanggi niyang pangahasan ang bagong karanasan.

Pero paano huhusga? Habang pinararami natin ang mga pagpipilian, lumiliit nang lumiliit ang halaga ng mga pinili, dahil dumarami nang dumarami ang kinakailangan nating talikuran para sa kanila. Mas mabubuhay sa panghihinayang, o pag-iisip para sa mga hindi inangkin. Ito, habang kapiling ang inari. Kaya kapag ikinulong ang sarili sa limitadong posibilidad, mas kaunti ang panghihinayang (mabibilang ba iyon, masusukat)? Siguro nga.

Walang iniiwan. Walang pupuntahan. Walang magaganap.

Buo.

Para saan?

Strand:

"We all have reasons
for moving."

Oo. Sapagkat?

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